


Terrible Beauty

by Zorithebrave



Category: Outlast (Video Games)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Sexual Abuse, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-17 06:14:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5857282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorithebrave/pseuds/Zorithebrave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The young educated software engineer, Waylon Park is on the cleft of a mental breakdown. Trying to forget his abusive ex-boyfriend and wanting to escape this reality. Waylon is isolating himself from every person around him. Is he becoming a danger to himself or will someone show him the beauty of this world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1. Happy New Year

**Author's Note:**

> This is an Outlast AU.  
> This is my first fanfiction as well. I am new to writing these things myself. I have been a big Outlast fan for a long time, and I just had this idea and had to do something about it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. It might be a little short, but i will try to write more next time :)  
> ...And i suck at writing a summary ;)

Waylon wasn’t really sleeping, just letting his thoughts swim by. Laying in icy snow, trying not to collapse from heavy, as well as dry eyelids. Maybe he should just close his eyes, and sleep. He knew better than that, besides it wasn’t going to help. Even if he was dressed in a thick coat, a soft furry scarf and a hat shielding his head like a pillow helmet, his body was slowly turning cold from the fresh icy weather and raw ground. Fingers and cheeks where hurting from the cold sensation, but he ignored the feeling.

Waylon could feel his face turning red, with a pinching feeling dancing over his exposed face. He deserved it in some way. It was somehow his fault, maybe if he had played along a little longer... _He_ would not had cheated on him. ‘No that’s wrong, it wasn’t your fault’ Waylon thought, trying to cheer himself up, but he could still feel the warm tears fall, digging into his cold cheeks like knives.

 _Jeremy_ ….had always been a huge jerk, constantly flirting with attractive women. Waylon missed the warmth from the mornings they would wake up an- NO! Waylon knew he was getting lost in his thoughts again. Waylon had a hard time looking on the bright side, but he would still miss him. All the ‘happiness’, the ‘passion’ and ‘emotion’ had just been a facade. Waylon had to see behind it for once. Jeremy had been an abusive and arrogant partner, wanting to control Waylon’s life. Hitting him and saying he was being ‘Disrespectful’, slowly destroying Waylon’s sensitive mind, easily losing who he was in the cruel acts by his ex-boyfriend. Jeremy Blaire, too proud to see what he was truly doing to his lover.

The thoughts of watching his bruised body in the mirror after a fight was too much for Waylon. Waylon closed his eyes and lifted the right arm to cover his face form images of blue and purple _uneven_ circles. He wanted to feel protected. But what if the only person who made you feel that, was the one hurting you, What can you do? Weeping did nothing! Oh god, how he missed him. Mostly their happy moments together, before it all went to hell. The days he would steal a kiss while making coffee or wrapping his slender arms around _his_ robust neck.

“ _Argh! I have to stop all these foolish thoughts._ ” Waylon mumbled and made a gross sound with his nose. “ _Heh, call me stupid, but it was him being the dumb ass_ ”. To think that he was going to spend New Year’s Eve alone, drinking a whole bottle of champagne by himself and now, well … Now he was laying in the snow, drunk in the darkest area of the park.

He was supposed to be at that New Year’s party that Lisa had invited him to, but he knew Jeremy was going to be there as well, with his new lover. Lisa had tried to force Waylon countless times to join her. However, she understood why Waylon did not agree to go. He just wanted to be alone.

How long had he been laying on the hard ground haft asleep anyway? He guessed it must be a long time, because he was freezing his balls off... “ _I should walk around for a bit_ ”. Waylon took a deep breath, and while blowing out, he swung himself up to sit. Opening his eye, looking in to nothing but darkness.

 

* * *

 

In the distance, you could hear the fireworks exploding across the sky. It had been doing that for some time now, Waylon had been too occupied with his thoughts to notice it before. Walking down to the tiny lake close to the middle, he felt a little overwhelmed by the surrounding environment. Even with a frozen lake and naked trees… The park was still quite stunning. It felt like a save heaven… heh especially with all this sparking snow.

Waylon took a deep breath, feeling the freezing cold melting together with the heat of his lungs. His thoughts was slowly turning calm again, sometimes it felt like there was a war inside his head, giving him an headache. He enjoyed the newly relaxing emotion.

He lazily walked around the lake, around and around, repeatedly. Eventually he found himself strolling over the tiny bridge, just wandering around with an empty brain. Stopping right at the middle, leaning of the railing and looking over the idyllic environment once again.

He didn’t know why, it just took his breath away leaving him in a rather magical state. He wasn’t really thinking of anything, just looking and listening. Waylon took a small step back, still keeping his hands tight around the railing and leaned back. His drunkenness was slowing working its way out of his system or maybe it was his imagination. He felt a lot more awake and fresh than before. His eyes were still heavy and sore, but somehow more awake.

The bridge creaked loudly behind Waylon. Breaking his slowly upcoming thoughts. He almost fell backwards from the unexpected loud sound. He quickly turn around, and saw a tall broad man, who looked just as _surprised_ as Waylon did. They looked at one another, but it was too dark to see a detailed face.

 _“I_ … _I am terribly sorry that I frightened you, I did not expect someone standing here so late_ ”. Said the unfamiliar person breaking the building awkwardness. Waylon just looked at the stranger, saying nothing. He just smiled an awkward smile, probably looking stupid as hell.

“ _By all means,_ _Happy New Years! Mind if I join you’re…um, whatever you were doing?_ ” The stranger walked closer, with a mellow smile on his lips. “ _Oh, yeah um it...it is a…a public bridge after all. I, I was just thinking of stuff anyways_ ” Waylon haven’t talked to any other than himself, for the last couple of weeks. It felt strange having some sort of conversation. He had been texting, but not answering his phone or door. Now that the newcomer was standing closer to Waylon, he could study his face a little more… but only in profile. His jaw were emphasized and strong, his nose were a little big, but it were indicated well. He was larger than Waylon. The stranger turned to Waylon, breaking his observations.

“ _Stunning evening isn’t it?_ ” The voice that left the lips form the man was ravishing and remarkable. However, it was also homely and it was deep and dense. “ _Mmh, it’s very pleasant. Calm and unspoiled_ ” Waylon thought he sounded awkward compared to _him_. It still felt bizarre to talk, and much more with someone, he did not know. Well this man was just trying to be nice, spreading the cheer of New Year’s Eve.

“ _What makes you come here on such an eventful evening? If I may ask?_ ” He said as he bend down, to be as the same level as Waylon. Looking in to Waylon’s Green and brownish eyes. The stranger had noticed the redness and swollen eyes of the much shorter man beside him. Obviously, he had been crying a great amount of tears. They didn’t share a word, unstill Waylon broke the silence.

“…. _Um I have had a rather… relaxing evening, thanks for asking!_ ” Waylon knew he didn’t sound anything near convincing, but why would anybody care. Not even answering the question right. He was just a meat suit to be tossed around with. He was a zero, a weakling, a nobody. The sudden negative thoughts gave a hopelessness feeling, giving him tears in his already sore eyes. He looked away from the stranger’s electric blue eyes, his attention now on the frozen plates on the lake.

“ _I know it might not be my business. But your eye are so swollen, it looks like they are going to pop any minute_ ” he chuckled, not in a mean way. A more worried way, if that is even possible.

“ _No, no. It is okay. I’m not used to strangers showing care_.” Waylon wiped his eyes, with his sleeves. Sniffed, and looked at the Stranger once more, as tears rapidly fell down his cheeks, uncontrollable. The stranger’s eye widened with concern, and felt a horrible guilt, as if he had just hit the smaller man. Waylon cried in a hyperventilated way, making him unable to talk. “ _Oh goodness, I’m sorry. I did not mean to be impolite. I just… thought…I’m sorry_ ” The man touched Waylon’s upper arm, and Waylon felt the clothing under his coat successfully getting stuck to his self-made open cuts. He jumped from the sting and tried to speak.

“ _It…it has nothing to do with you. I…. I was already a…So… sobbing mess before YOU SHOWED UP. Ohm god, why do you even care?_ ” It was hard to get the words out, so Waylon had to scream some of them out. His drunkenness was affecting his emotions, he wasn’t thinking straight.

“ _What’s your name?_ ” The stranger looked Waylon deep into his eyes, with a serious glance. Now holding both _his_ hands on Waylon’s slender shoulders. “ _Waylon. My name is Waylon Park_ ” He said still crying heavily.

“ _Okay Waylon, I’m Eddie I just want to help you. Try to relax. Take deep breaths, slowly. There you go_ ” Waylon followed the stranger’s advice, and took a deep breath with his nose, closing his eyes. He did it until his breathing was under control. “ _Good. How about this? We go grab some food, and maybe talk for a while. How does that sound?_ ” You could hear the concern and the smile in his voice, and it calm Waylon somehow. He just nodded and smiled weakly.

They slowly started to walk out of the park, Waylon lean up against the stranger side. He was to drunk and tried to think of what he was doing.

He just wanted to forget this awkward encounter.  

 

 


	2. 2. Picture frames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning of suicidal elements later in the chapter! (just so you know!!)
> 
> I’m sorry for the late update, been having a lot of things to do. The Next update might take some time to come aswell. I have a big school assignment coming up :)!  
> Otherwise I hope you enjoy.

 

The bright streetlights were burning Waylon’s eyes when they entered the street. The street were flooded with people, and it was hard to see far. Waylon felt claustrophobic, and it began to grow into a big aching anxious feeling. Which made Waylon lean closer to the stranger, who he was still leaning up against, with a firm arm around Waylon’s waist and a large hand cupping his shoulder. Denver were a big city, but still surprising seeing so many people in one place. He had never really been good with many people. Waylon had always been a shy and casual guy, an introvert, always keeping to himself. That also meaning he was easy to be fool around with, not that all introverts were! He just saw goodness in people, even all the assholes (such as _Jeremy_ ).

Meanwhile, they past lots of people, good-looking men and women in formal clothing. People were laughing, dancing and simply enjoying one another. Seeing so many _enthusiastic_ people, made Waylon sick. It always felt horrible then someone was enjoying themselves, and you were feeling like utter shit. Waylon tried to ignore people, dispirit all the loud chattering and music…. And that people were bumping into the stranger and him. His view was blurry and everything sounded like it was under water. How much had he been drinking? He couldn’t even remember. Waylon had forgotten what the strangers name was as well. ‘Good going Way, how embarrassing’. This day just became worse and worse. The stranger spoke, destroying the embarrassment Waylon felt. “ _I know a bistro that is open at this hour. Do you mind if we go there? It might be very busy_ ”. Giving Waylon’s shoulder a squeeze, that made Waylon look up and smile weakly, followed up with a lazy nod. The stranger led the way, and the bistro wasn’t far.

They walked for a few minutes, until they were standing in front of the cozy looking bistro. The outside was stunning, covered in chestnut red colored tree and red-brown bricks, and a sign that read “ _Restaurant Le Cochon Vert Heureux_ ” in an elegant cursive writing. Waylon was a bit surprised that such an expensive looking place had open New Year’s Eve and so late! Along with that, it was indeed busy. The people standing outside of the bistro were chattering and smoking, some running in and out with food bags in their hands. There were also fine small round tables, with people sitting around them with drinks and cocktails in their hands. As they stepped closer, the smell of cigarettes dominated the cold air, so much that you could feel the chemicals floating through the nostrils and filling your body. On the sides of the door, there hung two elongated flat blackboards, with the menu written with white chalk. Everything about the outside of the bistro made it seem extraordinary.

As the door handle was gapped and open, Waylon almost melted from the warm surrounding him. He let out a quite sigh. Oh god, how fucking satisficing it was! As if, he would never feel this warm again. The door closed behind them, with a hollow sound. The inside was like the outside, elegant and just dazzling. It had the same nature colored tree and the back wall near the bar was big boulder stones. It was very busy inside as well as the outdoor. They had to push through the wall of people to get to the bar, with the loftier man lending.

“ _Why don’t you go find a place to sit, I’ll go order a bit of nourishment?_ ” He hummed and looked down to Waylon.

Giving the stranger a marveled look, Waylon groaned in an unpleased respond “…. _But there are so many people! How can you even think there is a place to sit in here?_ ” it wasn’t meant to be in a rude tone, but it seemed impossible to find a sitting space.

The man chuckled, and said “ _There is a sofa booth over in the corner darling, go steal that. I’ll be there in a minute or so_ ”. While he said it, he pointed in the direction for Waylon’s knowledge. Despite the amount of people, Waylon easily squeezed through. Being short sometimes had its perquisites.

It felt nice sitting in a warm and soft couch compared to the icy ground in the park. He could really sense the drunkenness, from how much he was swaying side to side. He took some deep breaths to try and minimize his dizziness. He waited for the other man for a couple of minutes, unsure if he had taken the right sofa booth that had been pointed too. The subdued lighting and sitting down made it impossible to see if the stranger was looking for him. He finally took off his coat and scarf, but keeping the hat on, it might had made one of those _stupid_ looking ‘Helmet hair’-looks (he didn’t want to look even more dumb). Waylon glanced down at his patched red bony hands, the tingling sensation in his fingers made them feel numb. His sudden bad eating habits had made his body show more bone than normal, and clothing becoming a lot more lose. Looking but also feeing pathetic. He had become so self-destructive after what happen. Having this feeling to punish yourself for what another person had made you feel, was frustrating and surreal.

The stranger arrived with an irritated look. It looked quite funny how such a giant of a man, tried to reach their booth, with so many people standing in his way. It was hard to hold in the laughter, but Waylon succeeded. “ _I’m sorry for the long wait. It was a nightmare up there_ ” the stranger said grunting as he sat down, handing Waylon a bowl of soup and a glass of water. Waylon replied with a quiet ‘thanks’ and stared at the soup, wondered what kind it could be. Fiddling with it with his spoon. It looked soft and creamy. Not being near hungry. Waylon tried to convince himself to eat… Now that the Stranger had been so kind, the thought gave him butterflies.

“ _What kind of soup is this?_ ” Waylon asked still staring at it with an examining smiling look.

The Stranger gave a pleased nod and spoke softly “ _It is a Jerusalem-artichoke soup, it is served with garlic croutons. The taste is rather special. It is sweet but also a bit bitter. I hope it is for your liking.”_

With surprised eyes, Waylon looked up and said, “ _You sure know something about food. But really… thanks for helping out, even though I don’t know you at all, I-I apologize for ruining your evening_ ”

“ _Nonsense! Sorry for my wording, but you looked rather… sorrowful. Then you started crying, it simply made me want to help. Seeing someone like that on such a thrilling evening. Is Jus-_ “

“ _You don’t have to…”_ Waylon interrupted and waved his hand as he rapidly spoke. “ _Anyways… how would you like me to pay back for this?_ ”

“ _It’s all on me, you don’t have to think about that_.” He said and took a sip off a cocktail he had ordered for himself. It was very dark, but there was cream on top of it.

The thought and smell of strong alcohol gave Waylon a twisting feeling, almost making him vomit. “ _What kind of cocktail is that? It looks gross_ ” He said in a slightly disgusted tone, holding the gaging in.

“ _Why don’t you eat before your food gets cold hm? ….And it is an Espresso Martini. It kicks you awake, and I’ll need that if I’m going to look after you for the rest of the evening.”_ First Waylon got somewhat scared by the man’s tone and then uneasy. What did he mean with ‘The rest of the evening’? ‘I can take care of myself. I’m a grown ass man for Christ sake!’

“ _You know, I can take care of myself. I really appreciate your help but you don’t have to umm…._ “Waylon hesitated, lowered his voice and said, “ _I don’t know who you are, let alone what your names is_?”

“ _I doubt you can watch over yourself in this occasion. Then again, I’ve already told you my name, but I suppose you could forget it in these circumstances Darling.”_ He said with a wicked but charming smile as he rested his face on the palm of his hand. “ _My name is Eddie Gluskin.”._

“ _Nice to meet you Eddie. And thanks again_ ” he said weak and tired, and began to eat the food that Eddie can bought for him. They didn’t talk for a long time, only than they got eye contact, they humbly smiled at one another. It felt very awkward, sitting with someone you had just cried in front of and didn’t know at all. However, it was nice, Eddie didn’t drown Waylon in questions of the reasons why he had cried or why he had been alone. He was simply worried, and now this new ‘friend’ of his had invited himself home to Waylon’s tiny apartment.

* * *

Shortly after he had finished the soup, their main goal was to get to the tiny apartment. The mix of exhaustion and warm soup in his stomach, made Waylon sleepy as hell. He lived quite far away from the bistro, and they tried many things to get a taxi, eventually they ended up walking all the way. Eddie was the one who opened the door, because Waylon had fallen asleep in the elevator on the way up to his floor, so Eddie had to carry him the rest of the way. The apartments was a big lousy mess, with take-away boxes on the floor and overall a very dirty home. Eddie’s face was filled with disgust form the all-to-filthy apartment. Something had been wrong with the puffy faced man. Eddie had known that from the moment he had laid eyes on him. The air was stuffy and thick, and it smelled awful. He ignored it however, and carried Waylon to the bedroom. Eddie gently undressed Waylon form his outdoor clothing, laying him down on to the bed. Before Eddie could turn and leave the small man alone, Waylon grabbed his jacket. _”What is it Darling?”_ He said as he bend down to Waylon’s face. Waylon didn’t say anything, he was sound asleep. ‘How dreadful’ Eddie thought, he actually felt sorry for him, which was rare for him.

Eddie walked around the apartment, taking in every detail. There was many framed pictures of Waylon and another man, who Eddie did not know of. The glass on the frames was shattered, it looked odd with the goofy faces on the picture was engraved with busted glass. In the bistro, Eddie had noticed Waylon’s patched hands. He had obviously smashed the frames, breaking the glass and injuring his hands in the process. The living room was a mess, which somehow still surprised Eddie. The little fool had not cleaned this place for a very long time it seemed. It gave Eddie cleaning frenzy. He began to clean by taking the Take-away boxes form the floor and putting them in the kitchen bin. The many bottles of alcohol on the coffee table was taking in to a big bag and outside on the terrace. His perfectionist personality wouldn’t allow him to leave such an unpleasant looking home. He knew it might be invading Waylon’s privacy. On the other hand, he also knew that Waylon would not be doing anything about it soon. Eddie did a disservice for him.

***************

Falling asleep on the couch had not been a part of the plan. The load knocking echoing in the apartment was alarming. There was mumbling outside of the door, sounding like a man and woman. Hearing something about going coming back later. Eddie looked at his watch. It was 11:42AM. He got up and walked to Waylon room. He was still sound asleep. He looked peaceful with his still puffy eyes and red nose. Eddie knew Waylon would be perplexed about the cleaned living room, possibly saying it’s to kind for him to do so. As we now do, Eddie walked to the bathroom.

The sight was horrible and scary. Razors, scissors and other sharp objects was in the sink, towels and toilet paper saturated in dry blood. Just as quickly he had gone in there, he turned around walking towards the sleeping Waylon in a disquieting pace. Before Waylon had looked peaceful, but with the new set of eyes, he looked depressed and pained.

“ _Waylon darling Wake up_ ” To Eddie’s luck, Waylon was easy to wake up.

“ _What is it?_ ” He said in a sleepy voice.

“ _I’ve seen the bathroom. I would like to see to your wounds, and get them clean up…now_ ” The realization of his cuts on his arms was too much, he began to cry, Saying ‘I’m sorry’ repeatedly. His whole body was hurting, feeling the burning sensation on his arms and heavy head. Then the crying toned out, they walked to the bathroom to clean Waylon’s cuts. There were cuts on the upper and under arms. Some deep, others small thin red underlines. Eddie was gentle and slow, not wanting to hurt Waylon even more. The deepest cuts was covered up in bandage. It was quiet for a long time. Eddie looking at Waylon’s face and Waylon starting at his hands.

“ _I’m sorry….that you had to witness that_ ”

“ _Tsh, Darling.”_ The mood was every unpleasant. _“…Someone was knocking at the door a little while ago. A man and women I suppose.”_

“ _Oh, that might have been my friends, Lisa and Miles. Lisa is always worried sick about me an-_ ”

“ _And she would be_.” Eddie interrupted, taking Waylon’s small hands into his.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know when I would write/say how old they are etc. Therefore, I will just write it here: Waylon is 24, Jeremy is 34 and Eddie is 39 (also, Miles is 28 and Lisa is 25), I think those are the most important ones for now or else I will add them later ;). 
> 
> The name of the Bistro is “Le cochon vert heureux” which means ‘The happy green pig’ in French. I used a translator (because I do not speak French), so I apologize if it is wrong ^v^.


	3. 3. Childhood friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever to write!  
> Enjoy<3

 

” _I know that you’re only being nice, but really this is a bit too much_ ”

Waylon said weakly, and quickly removed his hands form the other man’s grasp. He walked away, only to stand in the bathroom doorway, looking back at Eddie who was sitting on the edge of the bathtub. With crossed arms Waylon spoke again:” _What do you want with me. Is there any reason why you are being so damn friendly towards someone you don’t know? To me? It feels wrong, like I ‘am utilizing this kindness you are giving me an_ -“

The luminous light in the room illuminated the white tiles, the soaked towels and the brownish bandage lying all over the place. The glowing lamp highlighted Eddie’s worried face. It was the first time Waylon really saw it. Before, the lighting had been dull and him too drowned in his drunken state to notice. The intense eye-to-eye communication broke Waylon’s babbling along with his train of thought. Now, staring at Eddie made his heart skip a beat, looking at electric blue eyes, black hair adorn back in an undercut, everything at its right place. This newly but familiar feeling filled his chest. ‘They both have blue eyes and black hair’ was one of the first things that came to mind. However, Eddie’s body were bigger, and a face that was more pleasant with healed scars on the right side. How had he not noticed them before? Big and intimidating, yet the scared face was upright gorgeous and had a calming feel to it. My god, how it made him tense. Having all these mood swings were really starting to get to him. From being edgy to suddenly feeling warmth in his chest was confusing. Waylon chuckled at himself while closing his eyes and looked at the tile floor. Finding his nerves to speak again, hazel and blue colors melting together.

“ _Hey, sorry about that little babbling outburst. I didn’t mean to seem… ahm mean in anyway. Want to join me for a cup of coffee, just here i-in the kitchen?”_ He asked, with an embarrassed smile and a nod with his head in the direction of the kitchen. “ _I guess I owe you something for taking such good care of me_ ”.

“ _Gladly, a cup of coffee sounds wonderful. Besides you don’t owe me anything, already told you that last night didn’t I_?” Eddie calmly said as he clapped his hands together and began to stand up.

“ _Well, I recall you said I didn’t have to pay you back_.” Waylon replied with a leering grin.

Eddie chortled as he spoke along with a little knock to his head. “ _Of course. Silly me. I will join you in the kitchen when I am done cleaning, is that all right?_ ”

“ _Sure... Just don’t snoop around_ ”

He turned his back around, so Eddie couldn’t see his face turning red and his smile that formed into only teeth and thin lips.

~***~

The scent of strong coffee overflowed the small kitchen. They sat at the kitchen table and chattered. they talked about everything and nothing, Mostly politics, world events and own sentiments, but they didn’t talk about each other or about themselves. They didn’t share any personal stories, one could say that it was still too early for such topics. Things remained the same, nothing new. Before he had left Eddie, Waylon suddenly noticed the oddly cleaned apartment. His first respond to the newly surroundings had been overwhelming, and at the same time had made Waylon a little mad. However, being in such a good mood he ignored it. It wasn’t unblemished and nothing near perfect, but much neater than it had been the last few weeks. It made the butterflies in his stomach grow larger, someone being this thoughtful towards him. Waylon knew that the kindness would grow on him and in the end, something bad would happen. Something bad always happened. On the other hand, it was nice to finally be able to walk around without falling over boxes and garbage.

Before they could drink up, their cups had turned to ice.

Time was flying rapidly by and forenoon became afternoon. 

 

*******Earlier: 11:37 AM*******

Nothing, no respond…

It wasn’t really a surprise. It was becoming a routine to her. A habit to check on her childhood friend. How many times had she been trying too check on him, weeks …months! However, this time was different. _Lisa_ _Park_ had known about Waylon’s abusive relationship with Jeremy and how they had broken up was tearing Waylon apart. Lisa saw Waylon as a little brother, ever since they had met in high school nine years ago. Both of them had gotten the nickname “ _the parks_ ” because of the same surname they shared. She cared for him and she hated what Jeremy had done to him. Witnessing his shy, cheerful personality becoming isolated and paranoid. At first, Jeremy Blaire had seemed charming and friendly, a very caring boyfriend who seemed to be the right person for Waylon. After they had dated for a year, Jeremy began taking over Waylon social life little by little, gaining full control over him.  Only when Lisa saw the bruises and she gathered the puzzles together, she understood the truth of their relationship. After Jeremy had left Waylon, Lisa still saw how it was destroying him. Jeremy had been his world, for over three years, and Waylon had lost himself completely. It had been four months since she had seen him, And Lisa was more worried than ever. She had tried to come in contact, but by far, it had been unsuccessful. The only form of contact had been messages and through them, she saw the destructive nature. Since yesterday evening, Lisa had been worried about a message Waylon had sent her before midnight. The hysterical tone and uncanny feel it had, now had her standing outside his apartment door.

Before Lisa could knock again, her boyfriend grasp her wrist and spoke in a disappointed tone.

” _Hey, just drop it. He won’t answer the damn door_!” Miles Looked at Lisa with twisted eyebrows and messy hair hanging down his eyes. Lisa automatically moved away, as Miles stepped forward to lay his ear up against the door, to hear if there was any noise inside the apartment. “ _His might be having a really bad hangover or sleeping in a dumpster somewhere_ ”. Miles giggled at the image, but was hit on the arm and pushed away.

“ _Don’t you dare say that!_ ” Lisa whisper shouted as she gave him a mean look.  Close to crying of concern of what her friend could have done overnight, lowering her head and swung arms around herself, as a form of comfort seeming like the best thing to do. Miles saw her discomfort and took her in an embrace, keeping her close. “ _I miss that little fluff ball too.”_ He muffled into her hair.

“ _I’m just very worried about him. I just know he have done something stupid, it’s like my sixth sense!”_

“ _His properly sleeping. Hell! I would be sleep if you hadn’t physically dragged me out of bed_ ” Oh yeah, that had been the hardest about getting out here. But in the end Lisa was capable of making Miles do almost anything  and she was indeed a very determinate woman.

“ _Shall we come check later?”_

“ _In an hour! And he better open or I’ll smash the door down_ ”

Both Miles and Lisa started walking towards the elevator, Lisa turned around to give the door a final glance before it disappeared behind dark carmine red wall paper.

*******Present: near 1 pm*******

‘This is starting to get a little bit awkward’ was the sentence that had run through Waylon’s mind the last 20 minutes of their little chattering. They was, very different from one another. After a while, their talking started to turn weird and you could feel tension from the embarrassing ‘nothing-to-talk-about’ tendency. Eventually, they sat in silence, for at any long time, Waylon felt like running away. It had felt so easier last night, to be open, to talk to Eddie. Of course it had, he really shouldn’t had drunk almost two bottles of champagne maybe a little more than that. He was however a light drinker.

“ _I think it’s about time I get home_ ”. Eddie suddenly broke the silence, capturing Waylon’s attention. He almost felt relieved but also hurt, after he had somewhat spend the night with Eddie. “ _Maybe it’s for the best. You might have other stuff to do than being my babysitter_ ”. ‘Yeah it’s the best, don’t let anyone close. Push the nice ones away’ Waylon thought sarcastically to himself. Waylon stood up, took the coffee cups and walked to the sink. Afterwards he followed Eddie to the door. The idea of never seeing Eddie was freaky, despite knowing him less than a day. They both stood in the door entrance, while Eddie took his jacket on and teeing his shoes, Waylon stared at the larger man with emptiness in his eyes.

“ _We might met one another again_.” Eddie said, as he stood up straight and smiled. Waylon returned the smile and mildly said, “ _Thanks again_ ”. They shared a few looks, as if they both didn’t wanted to leave or say ‘goodbye’. Eddie lastly said, “ _It was nice meeting you_ ” and Waylon only replied with an ‘mmh’ as he watch Eddie take the doorknob and opening it. Eddie looked back as he walked out the door, as you could heard a little squeak. The sound both captured their attention, gaining their full awareness.

…. And there was _Lisa Park_ and _Miles Upshur_ standing with stunned faces. Lisa, hand up ready to knock on the door, but now close to knocking on Eddie’s rib cage.

“ _Ahm, ehh hallo?!”_ Lisa tried to express herself by saying something, as she walked backwards into Miles chest. She, Miles – Both of them – Was very surprised with this unfamiliar individual. Behind the very intimidating man Lisa saw Waylon. He looked very different. Waylon had always been a little plum, which made him look heathier than he looked as she saw him at that very moment. Now he was thinner than ever and had a boney structure, you could see darkish underlines under his eyes and his messy strawberry blond-hair was cut uneven, making him look very unstable. Like he didn’t take care of himself.

Just as surprised as everyone else, Waylon felt knobs tighten in his stomach. He didn’t want Lisa seeing him like this, let alone with a stranger.

“ _Oh, you must be Lisa? Am I right? I’m sorry for being so rude, but I need to catch a bus_ ” Everything happen so fast. Eddie spoke rapidly and sounded almost frighten, as he walked fast passed Waylon’s childhood friend. Lisa didn’t had an idea of what has happing by the look on her face and Miles clearly studying the strangers body language with his ‘reporter-on-duty’ look, he always gave newcomers.

Then Eddie was out of sight, both of them looked at Waylon. “ _May we come in?_ ” Lisa asked in her demanding tone. Before any answer, she walked in. She wanted to take care of him, see how he was doing and be mad about this little mishap later.

“ _Way-Way, Care to explain? I haven’t seen you for more than a month. We really need to talk. I’m worried about you_ ”

“ _Lisa I..I-_ “ Waylon became, but was cut off then he started crying. He was so confused. About the encounter with Eddie, last night, Jeremy, his depressed mood. At that moment, Waylon knew that his biggest mistake had been isolating himself and not talking with his best friend about it. He collapsed at the floor crying, while Lisa sat down with him, hugged him as her life depended on it. She squeezed tight, imaging her squeezing all his unhappiness away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my school work and assignments gone, but sadly there will always be coming more :c  
> I’ve been having so many things to do and hardly had any time to write. Mostly because I didn’t know how to write any of my ideas down (writer’s block I guess). Tried to get it done before a school trip, which I luckily did! I would like to thanks two of my friends for letting me call late at night to brainstorm and for auditing this chapter<3


	4. 4. Cold Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo in the meantime I got a new obsession and school work took over… Also suddenly all my exams came around and I had to study, plus my computer started being a bitch. SOoo... it is the same old drill. I’m late, yet again, with an update. What a bummer! Luckily, summer vacation is here! YAY!
> 
> And yeah I know…. I really need to stop making Waylon feel bad and being so pitiful (Not gonna happen…. OKAY I’ll try.-. but this is a sad story - I’m no good at fluff - it will happen later on - I promise! - I just don’t know when...i guess<3). Hopefully this chapter was less pitiful. Had no idea for chapter name whatsoever.  
> Thank you so much for reading!! And for staying with me (and with my slow updates), I really appreciate it!<3

After he had collapsed on to the floor there was the unpleasant cold that lay on Waylon’s back like a thick shawl, along with an unstoppable shivering.

Soon after came the comfortable heat from Lisa's embrace. There was a quiet whisper which drowned out his heavy sobbing, while her calming voice said smoothing words. “ _Shh, Waylon you are not alone. I’m here for you_ ”. It felt strange having Lisa so near after so long. Hearing her familiar peaceful voice almost made him sob even harder. As her voice turned sharp, her next words came through clenched teeth.

“ _Don’t you ever do this again! You are important to me. Your life is important._ ”.

The embrace became tighter as he would feel the warmth from Lisa’s tears dropping down on to his shoulders. His sobs had stopped but his own tears still ran down his sore cheeks. The only thing he could do at this point was to return the embrace, swinging his arms around Lisa’s body. However soon after more weight was put on from behind Lisa. Waylon switch his attention up to see Miles looking at him with worry, nevertheless still having this stubborn look on his face. Nobody said anything and as they sat there it felt like forever and like time had been paused around them. Waylon forgot how he had gotten inside the apartment, things had started to become blurry and everything felt surreal, like he was watching from afar. Or maybe he was still a little hungover.  His only focus was on the warming comfort from his friends and their support. Quickly his mind wandered back to the extraordinary stranger who had left his side too soon - before he had the chance to say a word. Everything had happened so fast.

*******

Even after two weeks, the images from the morning was very clear. It was almost haunting how only a few words could affect someone even after such a long time, both good and bad. Waylon was something important to someone and in his hazy state he had forgotten that. That word Lisa had told him had been ringing in Waylon’s ears for the past two weeks. Being told that he was important and that he meant something.

That Word had been giving him an awfully sour taste in his mouth. Also making him reconsider what he had done and remember himself of the feeling of the stinging cold razor blade that was still very new, yet unfamiliar, in his mind. Waylon knew that he had been far-gone, out of common sense. But as the blade had touched his skin, in that moment, he had been blind for what the future consequences could be. He had just been wanting to stop the shattering pain of a broken heart. However, never did he have the guts to make it possible **-** to go through with it. Going so far to end his life, to stop the endless misery.

After what he had done to himself it had given him ugly scars on his body, which would most likely never go away. Also scars that might never be understood or to explain his turmoil as well as his manner of choice. Only the remembrance of the cool blade and burning sensation was left.

More than twice this week, these thoughts had made their way into his awareness. The second he embraced them, it was hard to shake them off. Every time it happened, Waylon didn’t cry, he couldn’t to tell the truth. Crying non-stop for more than 7 days had left him with no tears. Now his cheeks were red and he had dark circles under his eyes from his lack of sleep, making him look even more terrible. Additionally, the new, bad eating habit which was making him thin, almost look like a living dead. A dead body with no goal or objective **–** that was how he felt.

After what happened New Year’s morning, Lisa had moved into the small apartment to help Waylon with daily life and with getting better. Not that she had forced herself or was a professional helper **-**  Waylon had simply asked her to do so because he didn’t want to be alone anymore, afraid of what he might do next. He wanted someone near him, to look out for him, without ending up in a psychiatric ward. Also, it was nice with the company.

Lisa, had without a doubt been very helpful. Standing up for him, helping with his mood swings and feeling of emptiness as much as she could. More than once, she suggested that Waylon should seek professional help from a psychologist, just to talk things through and learn some useful tips and tools. Without luck, Waylon had turned her down, he had said that he just needed some time and support from friends, which was still a big step from the many months of isolation from human contract. Even though all of Lisa’s checkups on him had seemed annoying, he had been thankful for having such an amazing friend. After a few weeks in his pitiful state, Waylon slowly got better. Slowly opening up, he started getting simple things done, although it still was a challenge for him. Also, his cheeks were slowly returning to their normal plumpness **-** things were starting to look a lot brighter.

Nevertheless, Lisa hadn’t really mentioned the confrontation with the stranger Waylon had met New Year’s eve., which sort of surprised him, since she’s normally a curious person. He had told her about his embarrassing display the previous night and how they had met, but she hadn't mentioned or asked into it any further.

Waylon sat on his couch, thinking about New Year’s morning. He was wrapped in a blanket, still wearing his pajamas, feeling very cozy while watching a documentary film that he hadn’t really payed attention to. The thought of the stranger made Waylon smile, which he also thought was really dumb.  ‘What was his name again?’… Something with an _‘E’_ , Waylon was sure of it. Despite the feeling of embarrassment, he chuckled at himself for once again forgetting such a somewhat important name. He could sense the name right on the tip of his tongue. Thinking so hard to remember a simple name was frustrating. The man had really left a piece of himself in the apartment, the kindness and his protective person still lingering in Waylon’s mind. Something that was even more frustrating, despite the failed conversation that new year’s morning, was that he would never meet the guy again. As Waylon almost had remembered the name, Lisa interrupted his thoughts as she loudly began speaking from the kitchen. As she came into the living room with a cup in hand, she looked at Waylon with a big grin on her face **,** which stopped her loud mumbling. “ _Why do you always look like an angry little bird then you’re thinking?_ ” Lisa giggled as she walked over and tossed herself down on the couch next to Waylon. “ _What are you troubling your head with Way? It must be something serious with that face on_.”

“ _Argh!_ _Damn you Lisa, I almost had it.”_ Waylon said in an annoyed, yet cheerful tone. _“Being Nosey as ever, I see_ ” he finished, with a bright smile on his lips. Lisa’s way of being straight forward and honest always made him feel normal and welcomed **–** hanging out with her was like being at home. Having her near was so familiar to him. Her bullying never got to him **–** he was used to it by now. Many years of being in a friendship with someone makes you used to certain things. Lisa was the best of friends, with all the right qualities **–** sometimes he just wanted to marry her. But of course, that was just a silly dream. Waylon was homosexual and had been ever since the day he jumped out of the closet when he was a sophomore. Of course, with the support from Lisa by his side. He couldn’t help but smile at the smug look she gave Waylon.

“ _You know…_ ” she started, but then took a sip from the cup she had brought over. She obviously had to make it dramatic, turning her head to face Waylon, and finished her sentence in a mocking whisper, followed by a smirk.

“ _it’s part of the job_ ”.

“ _What job exactly?_ ”

“ _The job of being like a sister to you_ ”. Waylon just rolled his eyes at her. She was right about it anyway, so how could he deny it. He sighed as he curled himself tighter with the blankets. “ _So anyway, you wanna kn-?_ ”

“ _Oh, yes. Hit me with it!_ ”, Lisa said with a finger gun shooting at Waylon.

 “ _I was just thinking about New year’s morning… About the guy, you remember him right?_ ”

Her eyebrows flew up in surprise. By the look on her face, she very well remembered him. She leaned forward and put her cup on the coffee table. “ _Now, how can I not? …Yeah I do remember him. A very strange man. Look, the guy just ran off after he saw me. Did I really look that bad?_ ” Saying the last part, she touched her hair with a nervous expression.

“ _Is that the only thing you’re worried about?_ ”

Lisa burst out in laugher but continued “ _No of course not, but it wasn’t you he was facing as he stormed out of the building. He had one of those looks you only have then you’ve done something wrong or you’ve seen something very disgusting_ … _Also his phony polite tone._ ”

“... _Well, I was just trying to recall his name. It’s right there on the tip of my tongue!_ ”

“ _God! You’ve never been good with names, Way. But do tell me… Why are you thinking about that guy, anyway?”_

“ _I know that it might sound a bit strange **,** but I feel like I didn’t thank him for it **?** For helping me that night. I feel kind of upset that I’ll probably never meet him again, to thank him probably.” _

“ _Waylon, for how long had you known him? Less than 24 hours. His still just a stranger to you **.** But who knows, you might see the man again.”_

“ _Yeah, maybe_ ”, he thought to himself, as he turned his attention back to the documentary. Because he hadn’t paid attention since the beginning, it was very hard to understand what was happening on the screen. Lisa kept moving next to him, and at one point she spilled cold coffee on his favorite blanket, breaking his attention once again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always liked the idea of a plump/chubby Waylon. I kind of wanted to write a lot more than this, but didn’t want to push my deadline further away than it already was xD.


	5. 5. A little bit a color...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waylon is getting better, but sometimes the past lingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwwh Shit I did it again…... So um yeah, I’m not dead. Hi :) I swear, time flies by fast!  
> Warning btw!:)
> 
> I didn’t read it the best checkup with gramma :) English is my second language to it might be funny time to time.

_”Waylon!”_ Lisa screamed in excitement as the rapid jiggling sound of keys stopped. At the moment her foot stepped inside she madly took off her coat and shoes while shutting the door violently. Because of her excitement and eagerness to get to Waylon, she tumbled around in the entrance corridor. Accidently hitting her shoulders on the walls, meanwhile mumbling small curses from her pain. Two whole hours had Lisa been wanting to tell Waylon about the good news. She hadn’t wanted to tell him over a text message, telling him face-to-face felt more right. She had been so excited, so much that she technically had ran into several people, some with so much force they might have dropped to the ground, well she didn’t know or have time to look back…. There was a more important matter to think about right now!

Because of all the sudden noises Waylon snapped out of his projects and turned his attention to the uproarious noises of Lisa tumbling over. Which was followed by the rabid uproar of stamping feet running towards the living room, almost making Waylon shit his pants in terror. The motivation for getting better had turned into a motto, a principle. Slowly starting to applying for jobs and re-learning his qualities. The sensation of fingers running over keyboards, and the mechanical sounds it made was a sweet pleasure he had missed and had come to learn closely over the years. A treasure long lost had been found again, and a piece of his identity had returned to its rightfully place. Alongside his mood, you could say, the self-made cuts on his arms had healed quite fine. The red lines had slowly vanished and instead some had turned into shining white ones. Some had completely faded, but the deepest still lit red.

Waylon was sitting in his office chair in the living room when Lisa’s face peeped out from the hallway door. Her face was filled with sweat, but at the same time gleaming with joy. Her dimples on her cheeks went right up to her ears and her white teeth were framed by red lipstick. And her hair was wet since the cold snow in had melted from the building’s heat. _“You’re not going to believe this, Way! It happened, I got the spot!”_ Lisa once again screamed with joy and finally, finally telling Waylon about what had been her dying wish for hours. She ran into Waylon and wrapped her arm around him in a tight embrace while almost knocking them both onto the floor in the process. Waylon could feel Lisa shaking, likely with happiness of whatever she was talking about.

This outburst of joy seemed sort of extraneous. After hours sitting in the same spot, doing nothing but coding or looking for jobs, the only sound had been the keyboard keys and Waylon’s own respiration. Because Waylon liked working in a somewhat quiet area, the sounds from Lisa returning home was, of course, a lot more frightening. Nonetheless, Waylon sag the spit in his mouth and exhorted up. ‘Nothing to be afraid of, only Lisa and her rosy voice.’ Waylon thought to himself while slowly breathing in and out. After a few seconds of getting his breathing under control, Lisa moved away facing Waylon with both hands touching his shoulders. There was a hint of a tear in her eye most likely with her overwhelming state of mind, as the most dominant thing was her massive grin. She seemed eager and fresh because of her merry face. The eagerness gave Waylon a lighthearted feeling, the happy aura from his friend gave him butterflies, and her impatience to approach Waylon with something so significant. _“If you don’t relax you might explode”,_ Waylon started laughing.

_“do assemble me if it happens.”_ She responded back. Lisa took Waylon’s hands into her own and brought them both over to the couch to sit. The whole situation was bizarre; Lisa normally wasn’t this delighted. Actually, it had been quite some time since she had been this high up in the sky, the last time might have been in high school, at prom if he remembered correctly. He recalled how excited she had been, usually she had hated such things - proms, game night, school parties - even now she hated how phony people seemed sometimes, ‘fake and mindless’ said by Lisa’s own words. _“I think you’ll have to refresh my memory? What happed?”._

The sound Lisa made was a mix of a yell and an intense gasp, her eyebrows crooked and her face had the most offended look Waylon had ever seen. Waylon had obviously forgotten an important event. With all the chaos and chilly emotions, a lot was blown away from his memory. The injurious memories and experiences had been perfectly stored in his memory, while all the positive memories had been blurred out.

_“My god, you’ve got to be kidding me. Way it’s the vernissage, the vernissage! The 30th opening of The House of Craftsmanship and Creativity. It’s the biggest event of the year: that one event I’ve been talking about for years on end.”_ Lisa talked so fast that she had to stop for air. Once air had invaded her lungs she began with fast pace yet again, “ _The place I send a request to all these months ago, trying to get a spot to show off my art, getting a chance in the art world. My biggest dream! Don’t tell you’ve forgotten about all those hours you’ve helped me work my ass off just to meet all those damn deadlines.”_ As she spoke, her voice became desponded and she touched her temples. _“…I guess you’ve had a lot to think about, sorry”_ she said in a jollier tone.

The vernissage, the gallery… It was as if a new door opened within his mind. ‘Of course’ Waylon thought to himself. That’s what she meant with ‘she got the spot’. It explained everything since Lisa had gotten home. All those weeks of forcing an unwilling Lisa to paint, mixing colors and even helped her paint parts here and there. He remembered her headstrong stubbornness then he pushed her to her deadlines and making her do all the paperwork for attending the opening of the gallery. _“Wait, didn’t they inform the artists if they had gotten the spot months ago? Wouldn’t it be too late now?”_

_“Yeah about that… I only got the spot because the artist who had the spot, well… the gallery owners haven’t had any contact with her for months. They said she might have withdrawn her entry, but they won’t tell me much.”_

“ _Oh_ ”

“ _I’m happy I got the spot nonetheless. We have to celebrate! Miles coming over later_ ”

While Lisa started planning what they were going to eat, she drifted away in her own thoughts and so did Waylon….

*******August: 5 mouth ago*******

_ Lisa’s apartment _

Lisa’s apartment had been illuminated by fairy lights alongside the static blue, moving pictures from the television. She and Waylon had just finish their shared Chinese take-away box, after a long day of hard work with brainstorming and painting. Both laid heavy on the couch with stuffed stomachs. 5 paintings were finished and many new ideas had flourished in Lisa’s mind with his help, Lisa at the time wouldn’t wish for a better friend than Waylon.

The deadline had sneaked up on her, but as she only had 2 painting to make, Lisa was filled with self-confident and importance. The last thing Lisa needed to do was for her event request to be approved, alongside with her painting that was going to be shown at the gallery, it was her chance to get discovered by some high ranked manager or just maybe become something bigger… was closer than ever. She could almost reach out and touch the imaginary sighed contracts and the many handshakes that would follow. Still she had known that the chances for getting the approval by one of the most popular galleries in Denver was very little, almost impossible, Lisa had been convinced at the time being, that she would get a spot. Lisa didn’t remember much from that afternoon other than stressing and Waylon’s company.

Out though the day Waylon had been cheery and relaxed, it was nice to see him like that, very often he was fidgeting and seemed dim. He looked happy as he had laid there with red chubby cheeks and paint on his clothing. Lisa sat with legs up to her chest while she just looked at her friend. She didn’t know how long she had looked at him but eventually Waylon caught her staring, both started giggling at that. Waylon sighed after their little laugh outburst.

“ _What time is it?_ ”

In question Lisa looked at Waylon and answered “ _almost 12 AM, why?_ ”

The cheerful aura died out quick. “ _Have you seen my phone?_ ” Wait what? Why the sudden change of tone, Lisa asked herself.

“ _Uhm…No, i-I haven’t. Where did you last see it?_ ”. she spoke in confusion but at the same time she knew very well why he asked.

“ _I don’t know_ ” Waylon said in sudden panic, “ _This is not good_ ” he whispered to himself.

Lisa remembered the wicked man Waylon called his boyfriend.  Every time Lisa heard his name the bitter taste of soil was present and she felt like vomiting, it had been like that for 2 years. She knew about the beatings and the control. Lisa had tried to help Waylon many times but every time he had shut her down with a: Lisa, it’s nothing. But now? It was awful. Waylon had started covering up with turtle necks and big sweaters, but the black eye was inevitable. While Lisa had sat in the couch, Waylon had run over to his jacket to see with his phone was in one of the pockets. Sadly, it was… and there were 21 missed calls and countless of messages.

______________________________

**From: Jeremy 11:00 PM**

Waylon! You should have been home for an hour age.

Come home right away.

 

\------

**From: Jeremy 11:05 PM**

Where are you? I’ll come get you asap.

\------

**From: Jeremy 11:10 PM**

I swear to god Waylon!

\------

**From: Jeremy 11:37 PM**

I’m starting to get pissed Park.

You know how I am then I’m not in a good mood.

\------

**From: Jeremy 11:55 PM**

Please, Waylon.

I promise I won’t be mad at you. 

______________________________

Shit, Waylon was so fucked. Sometime then Jeremy said such thing, the panic spread like wild fire, always from his chest to his head and his fingertips.

“ _Lisa, it’s been a lovely day. But I really have to go_ ”. Waylon had quickly Lisa a hug, and before Lisa could said a word, he had been out the door.

The weather had been that of a typical early September evening. It was nice, but there were more horrifying things to think about. Waylon ran down to the bus stop… but just at the right time to see it drive away. He didn’t have enough money for a taxi, in the end he just started to ran once again. Then he had been half way he just started to walk, he had been so out of breath it felt like his heart was trying to destroying his ribs.

He come home around 1:00 AM, and by home he meant Jeremy’s Penthouse. All the lights were turned off, but he could hear the faint sound of opera through the penthouse, most likely form Jeremy’s office. Waylon become distressed and he could hear his heart calling for disaster. He slowly walked over to Jeremy’s office and looked inside form the crack of the door. Waylon remember that he only could see him sitting in white tang top and a glass of whisky in his hand. Jeremy had black circles under his eyes and he looked down right mad. Waylon opened the door and stepped inside. Jeremy didn’t even look up, he kept his head downwards, looking down to the whisky in his hand.

“ _Jeremy?_ ”

“ _What?_ ”. It was whispered with venom in his voice.

“ _Let me explain, I-_ “

“ _There is nothing to explain, Park.  Why Didn’t. you. call?_ ” Jeremy had yelled. Waylon didn’t answer right away. He felt scared, but he knew he would be even more mad if he didn’t man up and say something.

“ _Me and Lisa-_ “

“ _WHY? I do anything for you! and you forget about me?_ ”, Jeremy took a sip of his whisky and slammed it down onto office table. “ _Why do you only think about yourself?_ ”.

Again Waylon said nothing. he looked down at his feet and stood shamefully with tears in his eyes. He knew what was coming, mentally he made himself ready but it was never enough. He had only 'thought of himself' and had forgotten all about his own boyfriend.

“ _Huh? Cat got your tough?”_ Jeremy broke the silence. “ _Listen, I think you need a little bit a discipline. Heh, you always seem to forget_ ”. With that Jeremy stood up and walked over to were Waylon was standing, still like a sculpture. Sparks striked, with the dancing sounds of the hand that hit Waylon’s cheek and opera music. The screaming mixed with Jeremy’s breathing was nothing like the music in the background, beautiful and elegant. These sounds were dreadful, and far away from what this was meant to be, love.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was my attempt at write a long flashback.  
> I don’t want to warn in every chapter :) it’s going to get ugly from time to time.  
> I know I say this very chapter - Sorry about them being so late (this time every LATE).  
> A lot of personal stuff came up Wooo but Hey im Alright now! (a little bit, But it’s better :))  
> Im sorry tho, I love you guys.
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter with be back in the present.


End file.
